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How to Have Sex on a Plane
This article discusses a mature topic. Reader discretion is advised. The friend listened thoughtfully, but both women remained stumped by the problem. What could the girlfriend do to make her boyfriend behave more attentively? You deserve more respect. A large majority of women today, despite their ability to support themselves in satisfying careers, yearn for the commitment of marriage. Women are not only outpacing men in attaining college degrees and in other measures of professional achievement, but also, increasingly, in their aspirations to marry. In his new book, Cheap Sex: The Transformation of Men, Marriage, and Monogamy, Mark Regnerus argues that a perfect storm of technological advances — the birth control pill, and much more recently, online dating and widespread access to pornography — have eroded the perceived value of marriage. In the last fifteen years, marriage rates have continued to fall as both online dating and porn have skyrocketed. The author dismisses arguments that the marriage dip stems from economic concerns. Among other data, Regnerus noted a May study from the National Bureau of Economic Research showing that marriage rates remained stagnant even in regions where wages and jobs were booming from the fracking industry. His conclusions are based on research from several nationally-representative surveys, in-person interviews with men and women, and theories of other social scientists. Men, in turn, do not feel compelled to supply these goods as they once did. That's why so many single women hate Tinder, which has further commodified sex for the benefit of men. Women are just another consumer good in the shop window. It may take a village to raise a child. But it takes a village to raise a husband, too. And modern society has largely abdicated from the job. Jewish philosophy regards marriage as the foundation for a healthy society, and the ideal framework for personal, spiritual and social stability and satisfaction. Judaism teaches men to equate responsibility with manliness, and teaches women to equate their innate power to attract as something to be treasured, a gift to be bestowed only on a man who is committed to her. It is women, not men, who tend to be exploited in sexual relationships. The boundaries Jewish law sets around physical intimacy are meant to teach and reinforce the self-control that men and women need in these highly charged encounters to avoid emotional and physical exploitation. And as current trends demonstrate, the transformation of sex from a protected and consecrated act into just another recreational option hurts women in many ways, not least of which is through degrading the institution of marriage. Of course, life is never simple. There are numerous pressures that work against marriage today, including a rising number of women and men who have opted for the single life. Traditional Jewish marriages sometimes fail despite our religious and philosophical framework, and many couples live together first and then build successful marriages. But the trendlines that continue to devalue marriage are real, and too many women have discovered to their dismay and frustration what Regnerus has confirmed:
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